Wait . . . you ain’t heard about Antimalaria, Candida and Bigknock!

Darlington Majonga



Candida Mosoma



WHAT’S in a name, really?

So much – especially if your name is Lovemore, Givemore, Reason or Setfree!

We don’t normally realise the weirdness of such names until you are somewhere outside Zimbabwe.

Or unless a foreign visitor in Harare asks: “Did you just say your nephew is named Tedious?”

I’m not sure if my auntie who named me Darlington had heard about the English town in the Tees Valley.

In any case, the origin of my name must be the easiest considering how often the term “darling” is used by lovers, friends and the like.

The Holy Book has been a source of many names.

That’s why we have the likes of Naboth, David, Samuel, Israel, Abel, Cain, Esther, Mary and so on.

Film, television, music and books as well as sport have also influenced mothers and fathers in naming their offspring.

The likes of Aaliyah, Brandy, Beyonce, Rihanna, Ronaldo, Enzo, Usher, Denzel, Bryan, Alan, Gary, Sachin, Romario and Chris, to name but a few, are among popular celebrity names.

But why would parents name their child Trymore, Punishment, Silent, Godknows, Danger, Limited, Method or Credence?

My friend Shakeman has never told me how that name became his, but I guess his dad used to idolise Shackman Tauro, one of Zimbabwe’s former soccer greats.

Parents have tended to name their children to reflect their wishes or experiences.

My brother is named Gilbert.

Fine, right?

But if I tell you my dad was in love with a gin called Gilberts what do you think?

Your guess is as good as mine why a footballer in Zimbabwe was named Have-A-Look Dube?

Maybe some people had sworn that Have-A-Look’s mother would never have a child.

Or she wanted her enemies to watch how she would go up the social ladder in life?

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

As a journalist I have come across dozens of these strange names.

At Caps United there was Danger Fourpence and someone was claiming his sister was Dangerous.

Musareka Jenitala, Herbert Dick, Laughter Chilembe (Zambian), Givemore Manuella, Trymore Mtisi and so on were regulars on football team sheets.

However, some of the names end up subjecting the owners to ridicule, especially at school.

My other friend, Wishbone, must have not-so-fond memories of how we used to tease him.

Oh, we had Previous, Privilege and Smart too!

While we were covering Zimbabwe’s 2008 presidential and parliamentary elections, colleague Stephanie Nolen of Canada’s Globe & Mail thought an elderly man who gave his name as Bigknock Marikopo was joking.

You ain’t seen nothing gal, I told her.

I just referred her to the list of parliamentary candidates for that election.

There was Antimalaria, Cowboy, Dicky, Settlement, Moreprecision, Hotera (Hotel), Charm, Mainroad and Ready.

Phew!

My late sister once taught at a farm school in Bindura where names such as Size, Chocolate, Fitness, Bigboy, Shame and Tryness were ordinary.

Our Shona names leave a lot to be desired as well: Nhamo (Poverty), Sekai (You can laugh), Mandivavarira (You are on my case), Tinei (What do we have), Munodei (What do you want), Ticharwa (We will fight), Shupikai (Suffer) and Musorowegomo (Mountain crest)!

We do have them in South Africa too – Candida Mosoma, a former Rhythm City and Idols SA contestant, takes the cake.

Some of you, especially women, surely know about thrush – vaginal or oral.

But were you are aware that it’s a fungal infection known as candidiasis and caused by the candida yeast?

There you have it!